Sunday, 16 January 2011

The journey continues

I am on my way...

This morning as I was drying my hair (with my fab Babyliss Big Hair which I reviewed on my main blog) I was thinking about weight loss and age.

It struck me that I am wasting the best years of my life. The years between 30 and 50 have the potential to be fabulous. We are less filled with angst than when we were teenagers or in our early 20s, but not yet facing the problems that advancing age brings.

I want to be fit, healthy and good looking. What am I waiting for?

When I was 19 I was slim, but a typical teenager. I was conflicted, unsure of myself. In my twenties I married and settled down, had my children in my late twenties and early thirties.

Now I am 38 years old and for the past 6 years I have struggled with my weight. I look at my mother, who has spent her entire life gaining 5lbs and then losing 5lbs, gaining 8lbs then losing again. She has been a member of Weightwatchers, or Scottish Slimmers for at least 10 years.

I want to enjoy life. I am more self-confident now than I was in my teens. I know my place in life, I have a fantastic husband, healthy and funny children, a cute little white dog. We live a good life in an area of great natural beauty. I want to enjoy that.

And yet, I am held back by my weight.

Last summer we went to the beach in the village and I hid my body under a voluminous cover-up. Enviously, I watched the other mothers splash and play with their children, free of self-loathing and shame.

It is time to stop hiding, time to start living.


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